Last (And First) Post (RACHAEL MARKS)

    Notes From the Underground has been quite the interesting read. It is full of intriguing points and is realistically unsettling. Dostoevsky does not try to hide anything from the readers. He displays the truth with multiple explinations. The issue to take account of is that while questioning truth, it becomes a vicious circle of "nothing is true, so how can i settle on anything?" This was discussed in class today and is a very important factor to take into consideration. It made me think of a quote by one of my favorite lyrisists, "if you swear that there is no truth and who cares, why do you say it like you're right?" The narrator in Notes From the Underground obviously denies having any full beliefs multiple times. His many contradictions spurn from his realization that with no truth, comes no answers. The narrator has covered most (of course it is impossible to say all) of his tracks with his so called "spite".
    Although the book is not inclined towards psychology, the psychological aspects of it have been immensely interesting to me. The narrator is such a complex character and being allowed into his thought stream has been a magnificent experience. In other words, I did like the book. Now was it worth reading? In my personal experience with the book, I believe that I was exposed to many great assessments that I have either not thought about in a while, or was newly exposed to. Some of these assessments were maybe a bit too intriguing though. Once a person begins to fixate on questions of worth the world starts to shrink and grow at the same time. You, as a person become smaller in a big world, and the world becomes smaller in an infanite universe. Suddenly anything is possible because our rational seems irrational. Our minds become full of conspiracy theories and we question every single ideology. The religions all begin to sound the same, and at some point everything becomes meaningless. That is where it becomes terrifying. This is the point where you can become like the narrator (struggling to fit in and break away at the same time) or are able to release yourself and turn back to ignorance. This is why, to me, I have no yes or no to the book being "worth it" because I love thinking as it influences its readers to, but at the same time, certain thoughts bring the most terrible feelings. This book gave me a combination. I enjoyed it and suffered from it. The discussions we had were opportunities to discuss these assessments, and the discussions could become intense. Sometimes we would talk about things that most of us did not want to hear, but it was extremely interesting nonetheless. I will be thinking about some of the newer assessments I have learned from our discussions for quite a while. I will wonder more about whether or not humans do really have the advantage on animals. That is what haunted me the most. I cannot decide whether our lack of always working in our self interest is actually a good thing. Many negative issues do arise from acting out (such as our will to kill for fun). In the end, the most solid conclusion I have arrived at from reading this book is that humans are sick, yet beautifully complex, beings. Our thought processes and actions will never fail to interest me.