Not too bad

The first page, maybe first two pages, I thought to myself "What is he saying?......"
It was pretty confusing, and I have to admit I started off not disliking the book, but disliking the author. I do not like his thought process. He believes that he has a disease but he does not want to check it and he wants to let it get worse and he starts off by saying that he is a horrible person but then he is like "just kidding, I cannot hurt anyone", but then he goes on to saying that he likes to hate himself and degrade himself because out of that comes positivity.... Just like that sentence I just wrote, his novel rambles the same way -- only 10 times worse. When he said things like that, I was completely confused as to what Dostoyevsky wanted to portray and how he wanted to describe himself. I agreed with his conclusion that over consciousness leads to destruction, because I believe too that if one is too cautious with his/her surroundings he/she will never live in the present moment.
Overall, this is not too hard to read, it is kind of confusing in how it switches from one thing to the other, but it is not too bad. I have really bad ADD, and I do have a million thoughts at once, which is kind of what I see in his writing -- having a million thoughts at once and switching from one thing to the other. Did Dostoyevsky have ADD? Is he trying to portray something with his continuous switching of thoughts?? I do not know. The book will tell me later on.