“I never have been a coward at heart, though I have always been a coward in action” (Meagan Adler)

After tonight’s reading, I was particularly captivated by the psychological idea of Maslow’s hierarchy and how the narrator is stuck at the love/belongingness stage, as he is “overcome by a sort of paralysis” (pg.41) where he is unable to socially connect with society.  He has satisfied his physical needs and his safety needs, for he feels a sense of protection in hiding in the “underground”, away from society, where he can feel internally safe; however, he is unable to satisfy his love/belongingness needs and therefore unable to have self-esteem which ultimately inhibits him from self-actualization.  His “agonising inward analysis” (pg.39) prevents him from breaking free from his acute consciousness and seeing beyond the trivial details; he describes this tormenting inescapable internal force in expressing that it is a “torture” (pg.36) that he has inflicted upon himself.  A particularly powerful part of tonight’s reading was when the narrator analytically expresses, “I never have been a coward at heart, though I have always been a coward in action” (pg.34); in my opinion, we see that the narrator is incapable of having a purposeful and directive life because he is unable to break through the internal “stone wall” that prevents him from self-actualizing.